Saturday 18 April 2015

The ‘others’ do the ‘other’ things: Margarita with a straw



Tell me dear director, as if disability and sexuality was not complex and sensitive enough subject, y did u have to pull one feet and put in the other  boat of another complex and sensitive area of homosexuality? Bahut confuje hue ho aur hamka bhi confuje kiye ho..
Hua yun ki
Banne chale kheer
Beech me laga –lets make it spicy
Dal diya namak mirch dalchini
Khilaike hamko bole kheer-like never before
Khake ke ho gai ulti

Of the many discussions I had with friends, some questions I grossly failed to respond to are as follows:

Do persons with disability become homosexual or bisexual because they cannot easily find a sexual partner?!

Do persons with disability think of sex more than a ‘normal’ person?!

Can bixexual people not maintain loyalty to one partner or must maintain multiple loyalties?!

A blind friend of mine often touches my face and hair. Does she have a sexual intent?

Is there a medical connection between disability and sexual orientation?

Are cats carnivores? Do frogs have a nose? Are penguins mammals?- Sounding similar?? For God’s sake we are not different species persons with impairments, persons wit various sexual orientations we are all people from the human species..of course all of us have similar body drives..u just had to establish their humanness needn’t have ripped their biologies as if u were to look at another species!
            We have a long culture of institunalizing persons having impairments and rendering them invisible of daily domains and made them ‘others’ in society. And so have we stigmatized non heterosexual orientatins and rendered them as ‘others’ from humanity. Now with both the ‘others’ coming together in the film its as if the ‘normals’ do the ‘normal’ things and the ‘OTHERS’ DO THE ‘OTHER’ THINGS. Promoted from pit to well.

Oh thank God Laila was bisexual or evolved as bisexual as her friend says in the movie. What if Laila was heterosexual and her girl friend kisser her lips in the pretence of a head massage? Whop! Slap! A close case of molestation for my knowledge of a heterosexual. But is that all right with a homosexual relation?? Quip quip..unlikely but I don’t know!! The film sez that’s how it is..its gyan for me..but id prefer to hold that I still don’t know..quip quip

If a film is titled sholay it cant get away with a love story with some lit coal in one scene..the aggression flows through the storyline. This movie nevertheless shows it twice- Laila is drinking margarita with a straw therefore the title. -really?? I mean really is that all u cud do to live up the title?? Wherez that creative living promise the title makes??  where is the witty busting of invisible barriers that the title promises?? (Taste kaha hai?? ;) ) Cerebral palsy is not disability; its a physiological condition. Disability is a social construction. We have built our societies socially and physically inaccessible for many forms of human body physiology. Our systems are unfairly structured suffocating the vulnerable to even survival, leaving often little room to even reach that point of self and sexual exploration. .yes of course if this is not making sense its coz uv never seen it, nor the movie has shown it.. horseblinds out here! Convinence over reality?

What the film cannot gather is criticism, for its an unknown subject and whatever it offers is not a subject of critique but ‘gyan’. Now who wants to hold a critical lens and look like some ancient religious chauvinist. Yo man we are from the modern age whatever des guys do ..its all cool hw does dat matter wat dey do with themselves.
But for me as a disability social worker and a person with disability it matters. It does not represent me..it does not tell the world what I had been longing to tell through this film.. it leaves me confused..
Well..whatever..I cant hold myself from saying Kalki- hatsoff to ur brilliant acting..girl u couldn’t be more real! Revatiji thank u fo being the mother u r..how sensitive and sensible.. hats off..

Ps: Taking some antidotes: The theory of everything: A film based on the greatest scientist of the century Stephen Hawkings; Barfi; My left foot; A beautiful mind; Sirivennela

Saturday 25 October 2014

Shopping with grandma




It all started when I decided to introduce the escalator to grandma. I held her hand and took the lead.
my right hand on the rolling belt,
 left in her right,
I put my right foot on the step,
pulled my left n gave her a lil pull.
She put her trembling right foot up…
she squeaks !
I squeak !
 in a bid to handle her, I lose balance!
 I dangled to the belt holding it tight with my right hand praying NO NO NO I cant trip! Izzat ka sawal hai!! I I held the belt tight in my right, balanced my weight against grandmas hand that I held in my left n saved myself a fall!!
 Oh thank God she seemed to think I squeezed her hand to support her!!   dats good!
 While I still dazed in confusion, she seemed to have recovered. She turned to me with wide eyes and asked :
‘should I climb up now?’
‘no no ur highness! No! just stay, ull be taken’
with a little jerk, we gracefully got off the escalator.
Yeah!
 But. . bad idea !
We now entered the big shop floor. Bright n colourful clothes, some folded, some hanged, some worn to mannequins. Dresses, anarkalis, racks of leggings, rolls of patiyalas..
while I hopped here n there looking fo d right print n colour, she took an eazy ride, unfazed by the overwhelming choices.  All she had to do was to touch a piece, feel it between her fingers and say, ‘good material..its soft..take it! ‘
 A few steps down ahead and she suddenly did an about turn..
‘gents section..lets go back’
‘ha ha ha ..thats girls section granma..western wear ! ‘
‘ oh ! they look just like what boys wear’ said she
‘not really..look, these have floral prints’
‘ooo yeees’
After a while of her return to the touch n feel thingy, she called out to me…a lil loud, a lil panicky.. I walked up to her in brisk hops. I see her holding the price tag of a blue printed tunic
‘is this 2499 the price of this?’
‘yes it is’
She turned it up down reversed it  pulled it as if looking for those diamonds that must have been studded onto it for that price!
Alas!
‘whats in this???’ glared she
‘it’s the cuts n stitching style’ quipped I
‘oow u might as well buy a saree n get four such things stitched’
‘ !!!!!! …….not a bad idea! ‘
While I picked up some capris for trial, she confronted me, head held high and in a firm voice said:
‘these will be short for u’
 She quickly pulled one from my hand n held it against my waist to reaffirm her estimation !
‘see, they hardly reach ur calves’
‘ha ha exactly ! they r meant to b short my dear! ‘

 from going after monkeys with bananas in hand n calling ‘jai hanuman’ to asking me if my computer would show me any movie anytime I would want..grandma brings with her, a layer of her world, that she carries along while walking past this changed world…
.. it would be interesting to see how this world of which I hold the reigns of today, will alienate me tomorrow…. !
Cant wait to turn funny !

Friday 17 October 2014

Subhaarambh


born into a Hindu family, I never have the dilemma of what is the first thing to do when I begin something.
Dear ganesha,
Today, I stand in front of u, palms joined, with a smile on my face, knowing fully that this interaction of ours is going to be absolutely fruitful..all I have to do is to look at u in honest dedication n catch what u r sayin to me..

when I look far away and think of the future my eyes become narrow. Your tiny eyes tell me to remain farsighted and look at the big picture always.

Your huge ears like a sieve teach me how to listen to everything and retain just what is good for me.

Your mighty trunk that can uproot a tree and also lift a baby is a lesson on how to be firm and yet gentle in manner.

And ur favourite sweet, the modak in ur hand.. ah! That shape can be made only by bringing all my fingers together. Thank you for reminding me how important is the power of cooperatioin J

 Your big belly my cute ganesha gives me big power to accommodate and assimilate.

Y is one of ur legs always folded up and the other on the ground? Hmm… despite all ur greatness and fan following u remain grounded..u remain down to earth.. I understand..


Oh dear whats dat little rat..y did u pick dat little rat as ur vehicle u could have asked for an SUV!! Oh oh got it!! Simple living !J 

Dear ganesha, with the qualities of farsightedness, power to accommodate, cooperation and humility u truly are a vighan vinashak. How can any obstacle touch a person with these qualities. In deep adoration, I humbly bow down in worship of ur idol my dear ganesha. I love u. thanku :) :)







Monday 13 October 2014

wings to thoughts

and now is the time for flight..flight with wings..with wings of colour…wings of magic !
I come from yesterday..when i walked around the woods, slowly, quietly.. observing, thinking and learning
 After a while, I began churning my thoughts. They spun around me round and round until I shrunk into a dark cavity where I sat in quietude.. contemplating and reflecting… then emerged my wings from within.. my wings of wisdom, wings of hope  that grew in size grew in might  until a desperate moment..a moment to breakthrough and fly…fly high..swift confident radiant. .
I bring with me the fragrance and stench of all the leaves I landed of all the flowers I kissed…